I love Thanksgiving.
It’s the one holiday that calls us to pause, reflect, and genuinely connect with others—free from the distractions of gift-giving or extravagant displays. It’s about gratitude, shared stories, and the warmth of understanding. As I’ve grown in my career and reflected on what makes relationships thrive—not just personally, but in business too—I’ve realized that the essence of Thanksgiving is deeply intertwined with the idea of empathy.
Empathy isn’t just a buzzword or a feel-good concept; it’s a transformative force. And when businesses practice it genuinely, it has the power to turn even frustrated customers into lifelong advocates. But to truly appreciate empathy’s role, we first need to understand what it is—and just as importantly, what it isn’t.
Empathy vs. Sympathy: I Realized Something
Years ago, early in my career, I thought I was being empathetic in a customer interaction. A customer had called in, visibly upset about a product failure, and I offered what I thought was a heartfelt apology. I expressed how sorry I was for the inconvenience and assured them we’d “look into it.” It was sympathetic, sure, but I later realized it wasn’t what they needed. I didn’t ask about the context of their frustration or offer immediate help. I didn’t see the problem through their eyes. That experience taught me the difference between sympathy and empathy in a way that stuck.
Sympathy is feeling for someone—acknowledging their pain or frustration from the outside. It often comes across as, “I’m sorry that happened to you,” and stops there. Empathy, on the other hand, is feeling with someone. It’s stepping into their shoes and responding in a way that makes them feel seen, heard, and understood. Where sympathy can feel transactional, empathy creates a connection.
This distinction is more than semantics. It’s the difference between a customer walking away feeling dismissed and one walking away feeling cared for.
The Role of Empathy in Building Advocacy
I’ve seen firsthand how empathy transforms customer relationships. It’s not just about resolving an issue; it’s about creating a moment of connection. When a business takes the time to understand and address a customer’s unique perspective, it leaves an emotional imprint. And that emotional imprint turns customers into advocates.
Advocacy isn’t just about liking a brand; it’s about loving it so much that you want others to experience it too. Empathy is often the catalyst for that kind of loyalty. Customers don’t advocate for companies that solve their problems robotically. They advocate for companies that make them feel valued.
Gratitude and Empathy: The Thanksgiving Connection
Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, and empathy is one of the most powerful ways to express it. Just as we gather around the table to listen and share, empathetic customer interactions hinge on listening—not to respond, but to understand.
A few years ago, I came across a story that stuck with me. A family had ordered a Thanksgiving meal kit online, but it arrived damaged, leaving them without their planned feast. The company didn’t just issue a refund. They delivered a replacement meal, along with a handwritten note of apology and a small gift for the family’s trouble. That moment wasn’t about a transaction—it was about recognizing the emotional weight of the holiday and showing the family they mattered.
This is what empathy looks like in action: meeting the customer where they are and responding in a way that feels human.
Walking in Someone Else’s Shoes is Hard
Sympathy is easy. It’s a script. “We’re sorry for your inconvenience. Thank you for your patience.” These words are well-meaning but hollow when not backed by understanding or action.
I remember an experience where I received a generic apology email from a retailer after a shipping delay. It didn’t address my specific concerns, nor did it offer any tangible resolution. I wasn’t angry—I understood delays happen—but the lack of personal touch left me feeling like just another number in their database.
This is where sympathy falls short. Customers don’t want pity. They want to feel like you understand their frustration and care enough to make it right.
But It’s Usually Worth It
Some of the most inspiring examples of empathy come from companies that make it a core part of their culture:
Zappos is legendary for its customer service, but one story stands out. A customer called looking for shoes for her mother, who had just had foot surgery. The representative not only helped her find the perfect pair but also sent flowers to her mother with a get-well-soon note. That wasn’t in the training manual—it was a natural response born of empathy.
Southwest Airlines once held a flight for a man rushing to see his dying grandson. The gate agent could have followed protocol and closed the doors, but instead, she made a judgment call based on his situation. That decision wasn’t just empathetic—it was unforgettable.
A Small Business Example: During Thanksgiving, a local bakery received a panicked call from a customer who had forgotten to order a pie. Though they were closing, the owner stayed late to bake and deliver the pie. It wasn’t about profit; it was about recognizing a need and meeting it with care.
Practicing Empathy Year-Round
In my experience, fostering empathy in business starts with culture. It’s not something you can fake or automate. It has to be authentic and intentional.
Here are a few ways businesses can embed empathy into their operations:
1. Train Teams to Listen: Teach employees to listen actively and ask questions that get to the heart of the customer’s issue.
2. Empower Decision-Making: Give frontline employees the authority to make empathetic calls without needing managerial approval.
3. Personalize Interactions: Use data to understand customers’ preferences, but ensure that personalization feels thoughtful, not intrusive.
Empathy is a Long Game
Empathy is a long game. It’s not about quick fixes or appeasing a customer for the moment. It’s about building relationships that inspire loyalty and advocacy.
I’ve seen this happen time and again: A customer shares a story of exceptional service on social media, and it spreads. Other customers take notice. The business becomes known not just for its products but for how it makes people feel.
Empathy has a ripple effect, much like the gratitude we share at Thanksgiving. It doesn’t stop with one moment—it grows and touches others.
A Call to Action: Thinking AND Feeling
As we sit around our Thanksgiving tables this year, let’s take a moment to think about how we show up for others—not just in our personal lives, but in the work we do. Empathy isn’t just for the holiday season; it’s a mindset that can transform businesses and lives year-round.
So, let’s embrace the Thanksgiving spirit in every interaction. Let’s listen, understand, and respond in ways that make people feel valued. When we do, we won’t just create satisfied customers; we’ll create advocates who carry our stories forward.
Cheers. And Peace.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash